Family pictures

So we had family pictures taken the other day.

Oh. myGosh.

The level of humility a photographer must have to be able to photograph small children is unmeasureable. Here she comes, all smiles with her bag of tricks. She places each child in their assigned spot asking them to place their hands this way or tilt their head ever so slightly.

Then the real fun begins. She at first begins small. Little cute noises she makes. Funny gestures. However, as the task of getting our children to all laugh at the same time becomes challenging she goes for the big guns. Socks on her head? Animal noises? Animal impersonations? Even I watched from an uncomfortable state somewhere between bewildered and horrified. The kids looked shocked and bemused inbetween their giggling. Somehow it all works. We all coo at the children saying "how pretty Bella, niiiice smile" or "Moshe are you cute? Tell the lady you're cute." Wes dances around trying to get the kids to laugh and I watch as they strive to plaster their best faked-to-look-natural smile.

I almost wish I could've hired a second photographer to take pictures of all the shannanigans. All the awkward things we do to try to get our kids to laugh or to look pretty. It would be way more interesting to see those pictures than the pictures themselves I think. In fact you really could make a photo collage - you know the frames that have three separate spaces to put three correlating pictures in - but instead you start with the pictures of the antics leading up that the classic pose. NOW THAT - I would pay for. :)

Getting older is so surreal. There are so many joyous reminders tucked into each little crumbly bite of life. Holidays. Birthdays. Getting carded with a raised brow. Not getting carded at all. Playing a sport you used to be good at... then realizing it was a horrible mistake. (Or embarrassing at the very least).

I feel alikened to a zombie today. I got home from work and then my mind went blank. "What are you going? Who are you doing?" Heh. Heh. Heh. I sat for awhile. I sat and stared at the stains on our ugly cream colored wannabe carpet... or maybe I glared for awhile... What is my problem? Who knows? My knees hurt, they're aching from standing. Really? Add it to the list. Right?

Having a hard time lately. Feeling glum. Feeling old. Feeling like the time is ticking to do something important enough to report as a 'win' for the home team. In reality I have accomplished more than enough to the average eye. I've done time in the military. I'm a mom to four children, three of them my own. But I still wait. I listen intently. I wonder all kinds of 'what ifs'. I want to feel important. I want to feel young... but not overwhelmingly so. I want to be successful. I want to have it all.

Am I an overachiever?

I want to live in a parallel universe like the cast of LOST. I want to have my cake and eat it too. Who says dreams die young?