Pep Talks

Lately I have been giving myself a lot of pep talks.

(AM)

Okay face look alive people! Look alive! Straighten those fine lines. Try not to be so damn saggy what am I? Chopped liver?

(late AM)

I can do anything with the amount of caffeine I've consumed yet... or with at least a litte more.......

(PM)

YOU CAN get through your day without being annoyed with your children..... well, (pause for effect) at least some people can..........

(late PM)

Only a few more hours before bedtime... and a few glasses of wine.... :)

My metabolism has hit a brick wall lately. Or at least it feels as such. I think if I only ate what I was hungry for I'd probably eat somewhere around 900 calories a day. I probably eat twice that, at very least, and I struggle to find the energy and time to exercise. I used to fantasize about how I looked in highschool - and wished I looked that way again until recently when I stumbled on some old videos of me in highschool - which brings me to my next point.

What the freaking hell.

I was quite the foo-foo. Totally chubby. I wonder how - during my highschool years - did I miss out on that? How did I look at myself then which such endearing optimism when as of late I can hardly scrounge out the words to say "yeah I look pretty good?" Now I cringe at the thought of what everyone must've really thought, behind my back at least, or scribbled on bathroom walls... (funny how none of that matters now of course...) However, somewhere somehow everyone still cares about their 'high school persona.' And then I figure at least I can look forward to my high school reunion. At least I won't be the 'one who got fat' right? At least I can look forward to hearing a hundred times.... "Wow (in a really boid voice) you look REALLY good for having THREE kids!"

@*#$&*%#**!!!!!!!